Love your insightful writings. I enjoyed your interview on Gender a Wider Lens. I listened to it 3 times debating weather I should try to get my son to listen. I did not. I am a mother to a 17 year old. He told his dad and I he wants to be called a girls name and pronouns. We have not complied. He two sisters have. He hasn’t told anyone else (minus the online community). He is very much a RODG kid. He checks almost all of your above list. I know he needs to find his own way back. But it is so hard as a mom to feel helpless. Thank you for speaking out for these kids. You are so appreciated.
Most likely your son has not experienced romantic love/sex yet. If he shares more with you about wanting to be female, you might initiate a chat about the female sex organs, how it is not something about sexy breasts. We respond to romantic stimulation with endorphins, which let the tissues in the labia, clitoris and vagina expand and heat up. Lubricating fluid is released in women during arousal, only needing augmentation after menopause. These female responses are not replicable with plastic surgery. That is a myth. "Looking like" a woman and having this complex sexual response are completely different. Unfortunately, the images of women during arousal in the media make it appear as though simple surgical cuts here and there can manufacture that, along with a few pills called Estradiol. It is not true. The "rapture" that is presented cannot be created within the XY chromosomal male system. The surgeons who pretend they can are the charlatans behind the curtain. Romantic, fulfilling sex is something to be developed with humor, light and slow touch.
Ute Heggen, author, In the Curated Woods, True Tales from a Grass Widow
Also, now reinstated by YouTube after a 15 month ban, Ute Heggen YouTube channel, mind/body movements for psychological/emotional/physical connection to return body to a strong neutral state.
You are correct, he has not had any form of a romantic or dating relationship. Shortly after he had told me of his gender revelation, I asked him who he was planning to date in this desired situation. As I had read about someone who had detransitioned due to the lack of possible/potential mates. My son‘s reply was that he planned on dating lesbian women.  More recently my husband asked him how he hoped things would be different. Our sons reply was that he thought it would be easier to talk to girls as a girl. Yes he is very confused. I have seen girls flirt with him. But he’s too shy, awkward and confused to realize it. When I find the correct time, I will talk to him more about the mechanics of the female anatomy. Thank you for the above suggestion. 💕
Hello Ann, I feel for you and families which have imploded, scattering in a no man land of unspoken hatred and bitterness. I have a ROGD 18 year old daughter socially transitioned by her two siblings and a grooming antisocial gay man who pretend to be trans.
Good wishes to you Rose Tullip. We have conversed once before in private email. A mother of a ROGD teen ideology belief has changed mind from FtM with testosterone and surgeries and plan with government support on every angle. Social worker threatened to take our child away because we won’t use male pronouns and chose male name. 
SOGI liaison – Government officials demanded we affirm. Husband left the country – me fending for our family off the spectrum endeavors. Where to turn, I need to influential support to try:
SaveOurfemale/malelivingSouls.
Please relay me to ROGD parent support group. I am alone, even my exterior family and friends affirm... it hasn’t happened to them so they can’t understand the pain.
How many times does a parent – RO/GD child unknowingly, themselves have to die over and over again in spirit; later to watch self- mutilation of body parts—government expectation to allow.  TRUTH, be told. 
FYI: I feel suppressed without Freedom of Speech—enough by the majority of illusion; as acceptance of reality in society (the ones not personally touched by GD and profiteers in waiting) surrounding with claws directing my ROGD teen—No one from PITT replied to my silently constant, head banging cries.
A really thoughtful and considered essay. Thank you for continuing to share your insights and knowledge to help others. There was a lovely photo of you and Sinead Watson at the LGB Alliance on Graham Linehan's substack. Wishing you all the best.
Thank you for this. Feminists are really speaking up for desisting females, as if they're the only victims. As the mother of a son, it's extra lonely. With Gratitude <3
I think your comments re people in their 40s and 50s are slightly disingenuous. What I think they are saying is they understand why gender ideology is such a draw for young LGB people today because although the times are different the criteria of internalised homophobia non conformance to sex stereotypes etc etc are the same and they understand how powerful the drive is to ‘belong’ at practically any cost.
They recognise the fact they were not draw into gender ideology is exactly because they were lucky to be born at a different time.
It's a fair criticism. What I regret not mentioning, was that we won't need these "what-ifs", plenty of detransitioners are and will be answering that question.
Thank you for unpacking and describing all this--what you see and know are incredibly valuable to hear about. I know you are dealing with a lot of stupid hate and stereotypes, but I would hope that people who are reading your page would be giving the male and female detrans people all the same love and support, I mean, enough with the sexism and sex stereotypes! And enough with the unkindness--transition often seems to have come from pain or self-hatred, and no one should be giving you any more of either (or even originally, I'll be). Thank you so much for all your figuring this out and telling us about it!
Dear TullipR thank you for writing the truth. Language is powerful indeed there are many lies around these days. If we started to use I am a human being instead of man woman and all these gener sex white black questions should disappear from numerous forms and public language just a human seems to be enough. Wish you good health. Perceiving myself as a human being as well others
Excellent! Your writing gets better and better. So glad you made the point about being questioned intrusively about past choices. We ex-wives get all sorts of questions about what kind of sex role play we agreed to, didn't we know about our husband's secret life? I especially got that from politically right of center individuals. I witnessed the changing language, as my awareness of my then husband's mental health issues started in 1992. He went up the corporate path and absolutely was a language influencer in gender ideology. You will help many, many people with this. I honestly think if it wasn't the height of the AIDS crisis, he would have come out as gay. I knew him since age 20. He doesn't have your candor, your honest voice. I hope you understand that we trans widows have to speak honestly regarding our ex-husbands, their arrogance. It was learned from the know-it-all "sexologists." Every person is an individual with a choice in how they treat others. They do not have to take their cues from corrupt actors. Ute Heggen
Your essay is bright and heart rendering. I liked your idea of people who transport themselves back in time (if I was born 50 years ago I might be trans) as unhelpful, unproductive and self centered. Also you pointing out that we cannot fully embrace your experiences. You are rightly calling for humility and realism in the face of the tragic situation.
Personally I have felt like apologising to your generation for failing you as older people who you put trust into. Safeguarding was perverted, it was wrenched out of many loving hands. But it remains to be said that as a society, no matter how deeply divided into factions and hardly communicating as you show in your essay, we have failed you.
Astonishing issues you're facing head-on, and in uncharted territory. You deserve an enormous amount of credit. Apologies (!) for the too-long comment here:
Some of the reason why the trans agenda got as far as it did (and its promoters knew full well!) was because of the sweep of secular worldviews across the West. Big Religion gave way to modernity, which was fine; BUT it was replaced by a vacuum that allowed THIS kind of malaise into societies, families, and children. A malaise of meaninglessness, and of existential disembodiment.
But humans aren't simply bodies; we're also spiritual beings. Big Religion was corrupted, and as such deserved its collapse; but we were left untethered. Witness millions of kids feeling like they didn't belong in their own bodies, and felt no kinship with nature.
But something significant has emerged. The wind that once blew into the sails of Big Religion now blows into the sails of smaller communities, and into individual "guides" (they call themselves lightworkers, energyworkers, starseeds, and wayshowers). We actually need the help of talented spiritual guides; and detransitioning people need this help quite desperately. Buddhism took many people part way, but the planet has evolved past even Buddhist practise (which isn't realistic for most of us), and some consciousness has evolved further as well.
Talented, caring, independent spiritual-guides are everywhere, and represent every "type" of person. They all provide paid services and also give free content. The best ones are called to their work, and they don't "sell" as much as invite an audience that resonates with them. They don't follow any central belief system except a commitment to raise the consciousness of as many of us as choose: and to help our collective evolution of consciousness.
I think of this every time I see a grieving detransitioner on social media. People need help that no therapy will ever provide. They need to rebuild body AND spiritual self in very concrete ways.
I follow several people around the globe who are as different from each other as chalk and cheese. They're talented spiritual guides who provide information. Humans created faiths because we're body AND spirit. We require spiritual scaffolding. Without it we suffer. Big Religion stopped evolving and serving our best interests as humans. These individuals are our guides now. I don't think detrans people will fully heal without this kind of help.
Sorry: bit of an odd comment, but I feel as though it's necessary to put it 'out there'. And I won't link any names, because it would seem promotional and cultish, which would NOT reflect what these people do.
TLDR: Consider investigating the world of spiritual energyworkers; because no conventional therapies can help heal traumatized people at the brink (detrans or no trans!) in 2022.
...another GP said allow testosterone the younger the age the better the outcome and less harm it will cause. 😶🌫️ I canceled my second appt with him. The pack of wolves increase.... 
Love your insightful writings. I enjoyed your interview on Gender a Wider Lens. I listened to it 3 times debating weather I should try to get my son to listen. I did not. I am a mother to a 17 year old. He told his dad and I he wants to be called a girls name and pronouns. We have not complied. He two sisters have. He hasn’t told anyone else (minus the online community). He is very much a RODG kid. He checks almost all of your above list. I know he needs to find his own way back. But it is so hard as a mom to feel helpless. Thank you for speaking out for these kids. You are so appreciated.
Dear Ann,
Most likely your son has not experienced romantic love/sex yet. If he shares more with you about wanting to be female, you might initiate a chat about the female sex organs, how it is not something about sexy breasts. We respond to romantic stimulation with endorphins, which let the tissues in the labia, clitoris and vagina expand and heat up. Lubricating fluid is released in women during arousal, only needing augmentation after menopause. These female responses are not replicable with plastic surgery. That is a myth. "Looking like" a woman and having this complex sexual response are completely different. Unfortunately, the images of women during arousal in the media make it appear as though simple surgical cuts here and there can manufacture that, along with a few pills called Estradiol. It is not true. The "rapture" that is presented cannot be created within the XY chromosomal male system. The surgeons who pretend they can are the charlatans behind the curtain. Romantic, fulfilling sex is something to be developed with humor, light and slow touch.
Ute Heggen, author, In the Curated Woods, True Tales from a Grass Widow
Also, now reinstated by YouTube after a 15 month ban, Ute Heggen YouTube channel, mind/body movements for psychological/emotional/physical connection to return body to a strong neutral state.
You are correct, he has not had any form of a romantic or dating relationship. Shortly after he had told me of his gender revelation, I asked him who he was planning to date in this desired situation. As I had read about someone who had detransitioned due to the lack of possible/potential mates. My son‘s reply was that he planned on dating lesbian women.  More recently my husband asked him how he hoped things would be different. Our sons reply was that he thought it would be easier to talk to girls as a girl. Yes he is very confused. I have seen girls flirt with him. But he’s too shy, awkward and confused to realize it. When I find the correct time, I will talk to him more about the mechanics of the female anatomy. Thank you for the above suggestion. 💕
I am glad my comment might have made a difference. I advise to look into your son's inability to tune into social cues. This is very common.
I do not ask fees, have training. I've developed mind/body work.
uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress,com
Hello Ann, I feel for you and families which have imploded, scattering in a no man land of unspoken hatred and bitterness. I have a ROGD 18 year old daughter socially transitioned by her two siblings and a grooming antisocial gay man who pretend to be trans.
Good wishes to you Rose Tullip. We have conversed once before in private email. A mother of a ROGD teen ideology belief has changed mind from FtM with testosterone and surgeries and plan with government support on every angle. Social worker threatened to take our child away because we won’t use male pronouns and chose male name. 
SOGI liaison – Government officials demanded we affirm. Husband left the country – me fending for our family off the spectrum endeavors. Where to turn, I need to influential support to try:
SaveOurfemale/malelivingSouls.
Please relay me to ROGD parent support group. I am alone, even my exterior family and friends affirm... it hasn’t happened to them so they can’t understand the pain.
How many times does a parent – RO/GD child unknowingly, themselves have to die over and over again in spirit; later to watch self- mutilation of body parts—government expectation to allow.  TRUTH, be told. 
Have you tried reaching out to PITT? https://www.parentsofrogdkids.com/
🙏🏾🙏🏿🙏🏼🙏🏽🙏🏻🙏 Thank you Rose, I wrote a little piece of my mind. TRUTH—we ALL must face the unknown fear of possible persecution and fight for truth.
SaveOurfe/malelivingSouls!!!!!!!!
FYI: I feel suppressed without Freedom of Speech—enough by the majority of illusion; as acceptance of reality in society (the ones not personally touched by GD and profiteers in waiting) surrounding with claws directing my ROGD teen—No one from PITT replied to my silently constant, head banging cries.
A really thoughtful and considered essay. Thank you for continuing to share your insights and knowledge to help others. There was a lovely photo of you and Sinead Watson at the LGB Alliance on Graham Linehan's substack. Wishing you all the best.
Dear TullipR .You are like a lighthouse sending signals to those in a storm . I hope to get to the shore safely . Thank You.
Thank you for this. Feminists are really speaking up for desisting females, as if they're the only victims. As the mother of a son, it's extra lonely. With Gratitude <3
"You can't make a cake with just flour..." - Great line. Thanks for your insights.
I think your comments re people in their 40s and 50s are slightly disingenuous. What I think they are saying is they understand why gender ideology is such a draw for young LGB people today because although the times are different the criteria of internalised homophobia non conformance to sex stereotypes etc etc are the same and they understand how powerful the drive is to ‘belong’ at practically any cost.
They recognise the fact they were not draw into gender ideology is exactly because they were lucky to be born at a different time.
It's a fair criticism. What I regret not mentioning, was that we won't need these "what-ifs", plenty of detransitioners are and will be answering that question.
Thank you for unpacking and describing all this--what you see and know are incredibly valuable to hear about. I know you are dealing with a lot of stupid hate and stereotypes, but I would hope that people who are reading your page would be giving the male and female detrans people all the same love and support, I mean, enough with the sexism and sex stereotypes! And enough with the unkindness--transition often seems to have come from pain or self-hatred, and no one should be giving you any more of either (or even originally, I'll be). Thank you so much for all your figuring this out and telling us about it!
That was a remarkable essay Ritchie. You are a phenomenally intelligent young man. I can't find a single point I disagree with. Even slightly.
Dear TullipR thank you for writing the truth. Language is powerful indeed there are many lies around these days. If we started to use I am a human being instead of man woman and all these gener sex white black questions should disappear from numerous forms and public language just a human seems to be enough. Wish you good health. Perceiving myself as a human being as well others
Excellent! Your writing gets better and better. So glad you made the point about being questioned intrusively about past choices. We ex-wives get all sorts of questions about what kind of sex role play we agreed to, didn't we know about our husband's secret life? I especially got that from politically right of center individuals. I witnessed the changing language, as my awareness of my then husband's mental health issues started in 1992. He went up the corporate path and absolutely was a language influencer in gender ideology. You will help many, many people with this. I honestly think if it wasn't the height of the AIDS crisis, he would have come out as gay. I knew him since age 20. He doesn't have your candor, your honest voice. I hope you understand that we trans widows have to speak honestly regarding our ex-husbands, their arrogance. It was learned from the know-it-all "sexologists." Every person is an individual with a choice in how they treat others. They do not have to take their cues from corrupt actors. Ute Heggen
uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com
Your essay is bright and heart rendering. I liked your idea of people who transport themselves back in time (if I was born 50 years ago I might be trans) as unhelpful, unproductive and self centered. Also you pointing out that we cannot fully embrace your experiences. You are rightly calling for humility and realism in the face of the tragic situation.
Personally I have felt like apologising to your generation for failing you as older people who you put trust into. Safeguarding was perverted, it was wrenched out of many loving hands. But it remains to be said that as a society, no matter how deeply divided into factions and hardly communicating as you show in your essay, we have failed you.
Astonishing issues you're facing head-on, and in uncharted territory. You deserve an enormous amount of credit. Apologies (!) for the too-long comment here:
Some of the reason why the trans agenda got as far as it did (and its promoters knew full well!) was because of the sweep of secular worldviews across the West. Big Religion gave way to modernity, which was fine; BUT it was replaced by a vacuum that allowed THIS kind of malaise into societies, families, and children. A malaise of meaninglessness, and of existential disembodiment.
But humans aren't simply bodies; we're also spiritual beings. Big Religion was corrupted, and as such deserved its collapse; but we were left untethered. Witness millions of kids feeling like they didn't belong in their own bodies, and felt no kinship with nature.
But something significant has emerged. The wind that once blew into the sails of Big Religion now blows into the sails of smaller communities, and into individual "guides" (they call themselves lightworkers, energyworkers, starseeds, and wayshowers). We actually need the help of talented spiritual guides; and detransitioning people need this help quite desperately. Buddhism took many people part way, but the planet has evolved past even Buddhist practise (which isn't realistic for most of us), and some consciousness has evolved further as well.
Talented, caring, independent spiritual-guides are everywhere, and represent every "type" of person. They all provide paid services and also give free content. The best ones are called to their work, and they don't "sell" as much as invite an audience that resonates with them. They don't follow any central belief system except a commitment to raise the consciousness of as many of us as choose: and to help our collective evolution of consciousness.
I think of this every time I see a grieving detransitioner on social media. People need help that no therapy will ever provide. They need to rebuild body AND spiritual self in very concrete ways.
I follow several people around the globe who are as different from each other as chalk and cheese. They're talented spiritual guides who provide information. Humans created faiths because we're body AND spirit. We require spiritual scaffolding. Without it we suffer. Big Religion stopped evolving and serving our best interests as humans. These individuals are our guides now. I don't think detrans people will fully heal without this kind of help.
Sorry: bit of an odd comment, but I feel as though it's necessary to put it 'out there'. And I won't link any names, because it would seem promotional and cultish, which would NOT reflect what these people do.
TLDR: Consider investigating the world of spiritual energyworkers; because no conventional therapies can help heal traumatized people at the brink (detrans or no trans!) in 2022.
Be well!
...another GP said allow testosterone the younger the age the better the outcome and less harm it will cause. 😶🌫️ I canceled my second appt with him. The pack of wolves increase....