Advice for anyone wanting to share their story publicly
As you’ve said here, you don’t owe anyone anything. So I just want to say thank you for speaking out.
This is such a considered post, Ritchie. I've commented here and there on various things you've put out, under a pseudonym, and I'm just someone who wants better MH support for people. Little skin in the game. Opening the doors to let a story out also lets the world in, it seems like, and what you put between you and the open door is so important to keep you upright. I (in an internet stranger way obvs) value your big softy self massively, and I hope you realise that you're wonderful regardless how you choose to proceed with your life and your story. Your sense of humour comes across so well in your material, it's brilliant and it's vital. Wishing you strength, power, space and gentleness.
Your selflessness and generosity are, as ever, appreciated. You are a beacon of hope and sense.
Thank you for writing this--and please know how many people are grateful to you and support you!!!
"It’s only natural to want to prove your intentions, and validity, but many people who probe like this aren’t doing it with you in mind. "
Yes, 100%. You don't need to prove anything to people. If you really want to "prove" your surgery occurred or went poorlly you can show a medical record to an honest reporter who will corroborate your story, or something like that. I have found that some people just want to attack, and they are not asking you to show more and more to establish what is true, but to look for points of attack. They may not ever believe it is true or they might not care....but it will stay true no matter how messed up they are. You said it better than me!
(But it can be incredibly infuriating, given all the lies you were told and that are being pushed by *doctors* and those pretending to actually care. I am finding myself rehearsing arguments over and over and over again in my head trying to convince people to just *look* and *think*, but they might just not be ready, or they might not care....and your time and life are too important to be trying to push them in the right direction. Some people don't care what is true or can't see it and given all you have said and done, it's on them if they are in that situation.)
I just want you to know that I appreciate every video and every post you make. Just today, I was contacted by 2 more trans widows, who had what to say about the "therapists" and their bias. It is as if the therapists are proving they are not racist, by rubber stamping a very unhealthy, unresearched psychiatric illness. Truth matters. Believe it or not, I still feel some kind of guilt that I could not reel my then husband back into acceptance of his sexed body. I forgive myself, because I didn't have the training I later accomplished in child development. I hope Ritchie, that you might try the acupressure tapping on your sternum, that I keep typing in, as I find it helpful. Let's think about the place you grew up in, where men were risking their lives to extract coal from the Earth. For good reason, as how else will we make it through the winter? Please know that I care about you. Ute
I appreciate very much that you’ve chosen to speak out despite the costs. In particular, I really appreciate the important point you often make about the need for appropriate safeguards for _everyone_, including adults.
People say, correctly, that children cannot make these decisions. But then, if they speak out against childhood transition, many people especially in the US try to establish that they’re not bigots by affirming “adults can do whatever they want, of course...”
But that leaves unaddressed the very important problem of adults, often those with a host of diagnosed and undiagnosed comorbidities, which might make transition a very bad or very risky idea for them.
I’ve often said “I’ve never met a truly happy, truly fulfilled trans person.” That doesn’t mean they don’t exist, surely. But it gives me an uneasy feeling -- I suspect that we’ve abandoned so completely any nuanced notions of “what are appropriate safeguards?” and “what is this person really struggling with?” that we’ve applied transition as a solution very broadly and very inappropriately very often -- to the extent that I’ve yet to meet someone whom transition seems like it was a great idea for.
Like you, I don’t want to take any helpful treatments away from anyone. But I do suspect that the people whom these treatments help are very, very rare indeed and we should treat that reality with the respect it deserves, and not offer these treatments so casually.
Thanks for speaking out. I wish you all the best.
Thank you so much for coming out, sharing your story. As a mother of a 34 yr old son who is transitioning your story brings much hope. You are brave and intelligent and deserve the best.
Wishing you lots of success , peace and serentiy.
Thanks Ritchie. I’m Jamie Reed, the whistleblower from the pediatric gender center in the United States. I think your post can also offer guidance to any other whistleblowers out there. We are still too few.
I was so grateful to recently get to meet some of the whistleblowers from the Tavistock in England. That was a healing experience.
I think anyone considering going public should think about their own needs in that process. If what you’re seeking is an apology, I don’t think that might ever happen. I don’t see trans doctors ever apologizing for any of this. I also don’t know that there will ever be moments of real closure.
What going public might mean is signing up for a marathon- not a sprint. And any marathon requires preparation and lots of breaks! There are water and snack stations all along the route. So try to take time to nourish yourself while you’re at it. There are really good people out here, willing and able to offer support. Just try to have a few already set up before you start running.
Much love and thank you Ritchie.
You have handled the whole process with dignity and humour. Don't know how you did it.
I love reading your work and I'm sure it helps others
Your raw honesty shines through. Bravo 👏!
This is such good advice. I hope it goes viral. Your voice is so inspiring.
Is only way to donate via PayPal?
You’re one brave dude. Thank you so much. ❤️🙏
You are amazing. Thank you.