Dear Tulip, whoever you are, I hope your writing helps you because reading it certainly helps me and I can't thank you enough for your openness. As the mother of a transed man, estranged because I refuse to affirm him as a woman it helps me to know your story. Good luck to you in every way.
May 2, 2022·edited May 2, 2022Liked by @TullipR / Ritchie
As the population of male detransitioners grows, the medical care will improve if there is a loud enough outcry. You and others going through this are loved and valued, and your right to a healthy future is very much worth fighting for. Shifting from experimental, damaging “affirmative care” for young people to science-based quality medical care for detransitioners is one transition I can wholeheartedly support.
You may claim not to be brave, but continuing to be a non-conforming detrans male in this current climate requires appears to require no small amount of courage and moral fortitude. My heart aches for you and your detrans friends and I sincerely hope you can find psychologists and medical professionals with integrity to help you heal.
Hi @TullipR, your article really moved me. Many things that you describe I wasn’t aware of. Also very well written! You are right, people really are afraid to see the truth of things. I‘m a theatre director from Germany & preparing a documentary play on the topic for a nationaö theatre. So far I mainly met female detransitioners. The play will come out in a year, now I‘m purely researching. I would really be happy to talk to you & maybe turn your story into a character of the play, if you would give your consent. Please let me know, if it’s even an option. There is still plenty of time to consider & I will answer all questions on details. Best regards from Berlin! Angela
This fills me with such rage against the doctors who perform the surgeries and provide cross hormones! Yes, I am very annoyed with "trans allies" and trans influencers but I can have a bit sympathy for them and can see that they may not fully understand the impact of their actions. But doctors .... Once a surgeon sees results of one of these surgeries ... how can he/she go on performing more of them? Even surgeons who are affirmative and believe transition is the right treatment , how can they perform surgeries that are clearly so harmful? Would they do a wrongly matched heart transplant because "well, it's not the right heart but the patient really needs one"? I can't see surgeries being allowed to be performed in any other medical field that have such results!
Thank you for sharing your story and a further thank you in anticipation of the other stories you will share (though do come back and let us know how you are getting on!)
As others have said, you are finding courage in unexpected places, but I can totally understand the pull of re-transition. Lots of us have scars from our youth and yours are deeper than most. I had severe MH issues during mid-teens to mid-twenties, kept failing at everything, damaged my body and then at around 26 I saw a new counsellor who said “well of course, the brain doesn’t fully mature until mid-20s”, something so matter-of-fact but I couldn’t believe that so much of what I had felt was ‘normal’ and no-one had told me! The harm upon harm is undoable, I’m behind with all other life goals compared to my peers, but it’s the journey I went on and I can’t change it so have to accept it and make the best of what I do have.
This current issue has shown more than ever that good mental health practice needs to be taught from an early age. It should not be assumed that anyone can learn it at home or that so long as people get through the first 18 years of life, they’re high and dry.
Sending you hugs, you have helped me already and I would love to return the favour somehow. Adult detrans men are a cause close to my heart and you’re not going to be left behind.
I love your honesty. I love how open you are about your confusion, not knowing who you were or maybe are. Your story can help so many reaching that uncertain coming of age where nothing makes sense, especially their bodies and mental questions. I would like to say I’m shocked at doctors helping to lead you down a path you might not have chosen but did so with trust, I’m not. Everyone seems to have an agenda to further their own thoughts and desires. I always thought society, as a whole, would hold truths and cheer for those who believed differently than what society considers a norm. I often wonder if pockets of society reaches out, calling for those who struggle, to build their packs so there’s no escape.
You are an incredible man. An incredible human. Standing strong and fighting for what you now know where you want to be, and realizing you were led down a path that isn’t right for you. Please keep talking. Keep sharing. Your story needs to be told. So many are listening.
I just want to thank you for sharing your story. You deserved so much better from your doctors and therapists. They should have protected you. I wish you healing and inner peace. It is so important that people speak out about what is happening here. I don't wish it on anyone.
I will delete this if you request- please say so in comments and I will do so, but one female detrans person said, being female isn't a feeling. It's a fact. Ditto for being male.
Thank you so much for all these insights. I think your writing is helping those in similar situations get support from others and from each other. So many of us are behind you!!
I would not ask someone whose family had just been murdered by crusaders to give me a nuanced description of Christianity, nor would it be reasonable to insist that they be the ones who needed to set the record straight about good parts of Christianity.
Dear Tulip, whoever you are, I hope your writing helps you because reading it certainly helps me and I can't thank you enough for your openness. As the mother of a transed man, estranged because I refuse to affirm him as a woman it helps me to know your story. Good luck to you in every way.
As the population of male detransitioners grows, the medical care will improve if there is a loud enough outcry. You and others going through this are loved and valued, and your right to a healthy future is very much worth fighting for. Shifting from experimental, damaging “affirmative care” for young people to science-based quality medical care for detransitioners is one transition I can wholeheartedly support.
You may claim not to be brave, but continuing to be a non-conforming detrans male in this current climate requires appears to require no small amount of courage and moral fortitude. My heart aches for you and your detrans friends and I sincerely hope you can find psychologists and medical professionals with integrity to help you heal.
Hi @TullipR, your article really moved me. Many things that you describe I wasn’t aware of. Also very well written! You are right, people really are afraid to see the truth of things. I‘m a theatre director from Germany & preparing a documentary play on the topic for a nationaö theatre. So far I mainly met female detransitioners. The play will come out in a year, now I‘m purely researching. I would really be happy to talk to you & maybe turn your story into a character of the play, if you would give your consent. Please let me know, if it’s even an option. There is still plenty of time to consider & I will answer all questions on details. Best regards from Berlin! Angela
This fills me with such rage against the doctors who perform the surgeries and provide cross hormones! Yes, I am very annoyed with "trans allies" and trans influencers but I can have a bit sympathy for them and can see that they may not fully understand the impact of their actions. But doctors .... Once a surgeon sees results of one of these surgeries ... how can he/she go on performing more of them? Even surgeons who are affirmative and believe transition is the right treatment , how can they perform surgeries that are clearly so harmful? Would they do a wrongly matched heart transplant because "well, it's not the right heart but the patient really needs one"? I can't see surgeries being allowed to be performed in any other medical field that have such results!
Thank you for sharing your story and a further thank you in anticipation of the other stories you will share (though do come back and let us know how you are getting on!)
As others have said, you are finding courage in unexpected places, but I can totally understand the pull of re-transition. Lots of us have scars from our youth and yours are deeper than most. I had severe MH issues during mid-teens to mid-twenties, kept failing at everything, damaged my body and then at around 26 I saw a new counsellor who said “well of course, the brain doesn’t fully mature until mid-20s”, something so matter-of-fact but I couldn’t believe that so much of what I had felt was ‘normal’ and no-one had told me! The harm upon harm is undoable, I’m behind with all other life goals compared to my peers, but it’s the journey I went on and I can’t change it so have to accept it and make the best of what I do have.
This current issue has shown more than ever that good mental health practice needs to be taught from an early age. It should not be assumed that anyone can learn it at home or that so long as people get through the first 18 years of life, they’re high and dry.
Sending you hugs, you have helped me already and I would love to return the favour somehow. Adult detrans men are a cause close to my heart and you’re not going to be left behind.
I love your honesty. I love how open you are about your confusion, not knowing who you were or maybe are. Your story can help so many reaching that uncertain coming of age where nothing makes sense, especially their bodies and mental questions. I would like to say I’m shocked at doctors helping to lead you down a path you might not have chosen but did so with trust, I’m not. Everyone seems to have an agenda to further their own thoughts and desires. I always thought society, as a whole, would hold truths and cheer for those who believed differently than what society considers a norm. I often wonder if pockets of society reaches out, calling for those who struggle, to build their packs so there’s no escape.
You are an incredible man. An incredible human. Standing strong and fighting for what you now know where you want to be, and realizing you were led down a path that isn’t right for you. Please keep talking. Keep sharing. Your story needs to be told. So many are listening.
I just want to thank you for sharing your story. You deserved so much better from your doctors and therapists. They should have protected you. I wish you healing and inner peace. It is so important that people speak out about what is happening here. I don't wish it on anyone.
Thank you for opening up your life to us. I hope you can reach other boys/men like you so they can really consider the cost before they transition.
I will delete this if you request- please say so in comments and I will do so, but one female detrans person said, being female isn't a feeling. It's a fact. Ditto for being male.
Thank you so much for all these insights. I think your writing is helping those in similar situations get support from others and from each other. So many of us are behind you!!
I would not ask someone whose family had just been murdered by crusaders to give me a nuanced description of Christianity, nor would it be reasonable to insist that they be the ones who needed to set the record straight about good parts of Christianity.