48 Comments
Mar 29, 2022Liked by @TullipR / Ritchie

Thank you for post this! You write, "And most of all, never break contact with your child, you may want to reduce contact if its getting too much but never ever give them room to break contact." So hard to stay in contact when they refuse to engage at all.

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Apr 2, 2022Liked by @TullipR / Ritchie

This is very helpful. Thank you. Have you considered speaking on a podcast, maybe Gender: A Wider Lens or Transparency? You have a lot to share!

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Mar 29, 2022Liked by @TullipR / Ritchie

Thank you so much for this! What you said of yourself and how you came to your conclusions is so reminiscent of my son. Was already figuring some of this out myself, but anything that gives me new resources is so welcome. My biggest goal in this is to do whatever I can to insure that my child ends up happy and secure in their own skin - whatever form that skin may take. I hope you are finding that for yourself as well!

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Jul 3, 2022Liked by @TullipR / Ritchie

My child hasn't left and I don't believe she's autistic but she's very easily influenced. And your comments resonate. She would surveil my communications and read my diary to the point where I became jumpy when on the phone because she'd restrict my privacy. Her personality changed uncharacteristically. She'd be looking out for weaknesses in me and experimented exploiting me. Now after reading you, I suspect she was actually instructed to behave in exactly those ways.

Recently she dared guilt trip me for having sought support online (by going through my searches) and to my surprise I felt guilty. She even used the sort of emotional hurt which was typical of my mother, and that really threw me. There was that stupid misogynistic look "from 'man' to 'woman ' which I found really weird.

Since she did nothing and ate very little I got her a job and she seems less nasty, more like a normal person.

I can't thank you enough for your invaluable input.

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Apr 27, 2022Liked by @TullipR / Ritchie

My son, early 30ys, wants me to call him by his new name and use she. He says the family is the only one not doing it. I have watched how his girlfriend of many years call him by his new name and refer to him as her. I really do not want to play this game of dilusion and pretending. It does not feel right, does not help me. Any suggestions? I always feel like in order to maintain connection and the relationship I am walking on a tight rope.

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Lots of good points I bet will be helpful.

"First hand accounts of former cult members are said to be the most powerful ways of drawing people back if you suspect that’s whats occuring."

This is a great point I wanna keep in mind more. We can have some good general principles to follow, but addressing our issues involves getting into the SPECIFICS of our pain. But that can be too much at first, and hearing someone else get into their specifics is a great model for others to reflect on their own.

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Mar 29, 2022Liked by @TullipR / Ritchie

Once you can see that the cracks are beginning - that they see some of this is off themselves- any suggestions then?

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Apr 1, 2022Liked by @TullipR / Ritchie

Well written ... thank you!!

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Mar 29, 2022Liked by @TullipR / Ritchie

Thank you so much for your candid thoughts. <3

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Mar 29, 2022Liked by @TullipR / Ritchie

Thanks for the practical advice! I speak as a parent of a kid who turns 15 tomorrow and has been trans ID'd for a little over a year. I watched that entire video of Sinead. It was perfect.

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Thank you so much for your reflection, honesty and very comforting words TullipR.

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Jul 10, 2022Liked by @TullipR / Ritchie

Thank you for this. Any words of advice for dealing with a teen who just came out and has been influenced by social media friends? Teen is looking for us to affirm the way online friends are and won’t feel accepted by us until we do, but it feels irresponsible to affirm when this is very much a surprise and contradicts things that have previously been directly stated. We’ve reassured we love and accept our teen for who they are - just want to do what’s right for my teen and hoping to prevent/reduce future suffering. (The ocd tendency and internet addiction definitely applies in this case.)

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May 2, 2022Liked by @TullipR / Ritchie

I keep getting a gut feeling the resisting my son´s wishes to transition is only making things worse, like it gives him more power to prove that we are wrong. Agreeing and affirming this situation, as his girlfriend, friends and co workers are doing seems so against everything I believe, know and reality itself. In a bind.... how can one be supportive not lose the relationship and not afirm and agree? Lost in this nightmare.

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Apr 11, 2022Liked by @TullipR / Ritchie

Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your story and writing this post. We will be visting my son (early 30yrs) for the first time in 2 years and your advice is very helpful. Your story is also very hopeful, that one day, he too will see how incredible he really is, as he is. Our son started this process about a year ago, informing us over the phone. We live overseas and it has been impossible to travel until now. There has been quite a few ups and downs during this time but we have been able to continue communicating and he has accepted our offer to visit. There have been so many emotions, distressing days and nights, days that I could not get our of bed... got to a point where I thought I was the one with dysphoria due to the distress this was causing me... did not want to think, see or talk to him .. since it was so painful. I know do realize that no matter how much pain it causes I need to stay in contact, because not doing so is even worse and that its up to me to do so. I am doing better, focusing on me and accepting that this is his journey, I cant control it and all I can do is be kind and empathetic, listen and not say too much and pray that God will help him, becuase I certainly can not. I am a bit nervous about the visit, hoping I can handle it. Your tips are surely very helpful and I will put them into practice.

Any other advice?

Please keep writing and spreading the message. It is very important Take care

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Mar 29, 2022Liked by @TullipR / Ritchie

This is such an amazing post. Thank you so much.

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Mar 29, 2022Liked by @TullipR / Ritchie

Thank you! 🙏

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